Love & Understanding Newsletter

August 12, 2026 Issue #1246

Quotes of the Week

You cannot save people, you can only love them.

Anais Nin

Weekly Newsletter Article

Acceptance

When I was younger, I had a very different concept of how relationship evolved. I believed that over the course of time, people would get to know my preferences and slowly change their ways to conform to my desires.

Obviously, this wasn’t just naive, it was impossible. People are a composite of all their experiences and acquired beliefs. Change doesn’t normally come from other people’s desires but rather internal transformation.

What you see, hear and experience is normally what you get from that individual. Thinking that someone will change because they are in a relationship with you isn’t very realistic.  But that is Exactly what many people expect.

Desire for someone to change is probably the most prominent cause for relational breakups. There is also that golden period of any relationship that everyone is on their best behavior. When I was hiring people to work with me, I had a 90-day rule that actually applied to All relationships.

It usually took about 90 days for people to drop their guard and revert to their normal habits. Once that occurred you got to see who that person really was. Now you had a choice.

Is This the relationship that I can live with or Not? I can’t expect that this person would change. Can I accept however this people acts on a daily basis?

In business this was their evaluation period and we would schedule a meeting to see if this relationship would move forward or terminate. Even on a personal basis an internal conversation with yourself is important.

We all have our own issues, challenges and idiosyncrasies. “Acceptance” is key to any fruitful relationship. When it comes to social interactions we can’t save or change individuals, we can either avoid them or just Love them.

With matters of the heart, “just loving them” changes our perception and ultimately enhances our relationship. It drops the false expectations and settles the emotions.

Acceptance allows each person to be who they are while relieving the tensions that arise from desiring change. It is a solid foundation for growth. And That is our real goal.

Peace & Richest Blessings Always,                 
 
Reverend James Daly